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New Vorkosigan piece up at this link (AO3).
I haven't felt this crummy about posting a new fic in a while. I've been hammering at it through a series of weekends (granted, those have been some very crazy weekends. Last night I even managed to double book myself for a wedding dinner and a family member's birthday dinner. I managed to make both in the end, but let's just say that I am so glad that I don't have to face another wedding for a while. I'm ridiculously tired.
It's a piece about life and death. And the style I used for it was straight-forward narration, and after I was done I thought I really should have used an abstract style more similar to In this Valley of Dying Stars.
And it started being a piece about Aral alone, and I'm still not sure whether I should have just left it at that, but then I had this brilliant idea of working Miles in [1], and contrasting Aral and Miles, which gave me all kinds of problems, because I couldn't get the dialogue between the two of them to work. I hate ripping chunks out, but I had to do that about three, four times before I managed to put it together, and that always leaves me with a vaguely sick feeling in my stomach and a feeling like the fic isn't complete.
[1] Not least because after White Knights I'm a little tired of fics that basically time skip through the poignant events in a character's life, which is what this would have ended up as. Yuri. The Academy. Some indeterminate period in Aral's junior-officership (earning his captaincy). Some epic theme about killing people. His first wife. Komarr. Some epic theme about not killing people. Escobar. Cordelia. New directions. Resolution. *Falls on sword.*
Then I had some idea for Cordelia's dialogue, except that I got swallowed by work (predictably) and forgot what I wanted to do with it, and I have this unsettled feeling that it doesn't sound as good as it did originally in my head (but then again, these things never do).
I think it works, in the end. I think that maybe if I take a step back and squint at it, it probably stands well enough on its own (I wouldn't have posted it otherwise). But I feel like I massacred the prompt and then didn't deliver the goods (there was supposed to be some brilliant thesis in there about how growing into power isn't about growing into power per se, but responsibility, and how Aral may have risen into power, but it was only much later that he grew into it. And how you never really stop growing. Or something to that effect.)
I think I'd feel a lot better about it if I wasn't feeling quite so under the weather either. *reaches blearily for coffee*
I haven't felt this crummy about posting a new fic in a while. I've been hammering at it through a series of weekends (granted, those have been some very crazy weekends. Last night I even managed to double book myself for a wedding dinner and a family member's birthday dinner. I managed to make both in the end, but let's just say that I am so glad that I don't have to face another wedding for a while. I'm ridiculously tired.
It's a piece about life and death. And the style I used for it was straight-forward narration, and after I was done I thought I really should have used an abstract style more similar to In this Valley of Dying Stars.
And it started being a piece about Aral alone, and I'm still not sure whether I should have just left it at that, but then I had this brilliant idea of working Miles in [1], and contrasting Aral and Miles, which gave me all kinds of problems, because I couldn't get the dialogue between the two of them to work. I hate ripping chunks out, but I had to do that about three, four times before I managed to put it together, and that always leaves me with a vaguely sick feeling in my stomach and a feeling like the fic isn't complete.
[1] Not least because after White Knights I'm a little tired of fics that basically time skip through the poignant events in a character's life, which is what this would have ended up as. Yuri. The Academy. Some indeterminate period in Aral's junior-officership (earning his captaincy). Some epic theme about killing people. His first wife. Komarr. Some epic theme about not killing people. Escobar. Cordelia. New directions. Resolution. *Falls on sword.*
Then I had some idea for Cordelia's dialogue, except that I got swallowed by work (predictably) and forgot what I wanted to do with it, and I have this unsettled feeling that it doesn't sound as good as it did originally in my head (but then again, these things never do).
I think it works, in the end. I think that maybe if I take a step back and squint at it, it probably stands well enough on its own (I wouldn't have posted it otherwise). But I feel like I massacred the prompt and then didn't deliver the goods (there was supposed to be some brilliant thesis in there about how growing into power isn't about growing into power per se, but responsibility, and how Aral may have risen into power, but it was only much later that he grew into it. And how you never really stop growing. Or something to that effect.)
I think I'd feel a lot better about it if I wasn't feeling quite so under the weather either. *reaches blearily for coffee*
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Date: 2012-01-23 07:20 am (UTC)From: