crisis_control: (DW - Some days everyone lives)
White Knights Final Chapter Progress Chart - 5k words. Estimated at 50% completion.

After three years of struggling with details of the plot and how I'm supposed to get it to work, I finally (in response to a request sent to my tumblr) took the plunge and just leapt in, and the plot began miraculously writing itself. It's an amazing ride, because I don't know what's happening next either, and things are slotting into place much more naturally and beautifully than they ever did in any of my previous outlines.

The difficulty with writing an AU to Memory is, of course, the fact that Memory is Miles' story, and White Knights is distinctly not a Miles story. But somehow it's all worked out, and I know how this is going to happen, and all the amazing moments of poignant dialogue are simply popping up like mushrooms.

I'm terribly excited about this chapter, but unfortunately the weekend is over and I do need to get work done...

Random thing about coming back to the Vorkosigo verse after having my entire worldview on gender and sexuality and sexism upended and shaken and thrown into a supernova, is that the very, very traditional gender-role construct in Barrayaran society really grates and it feels thoroughly odd writing it. (It's also very strange writing for characters who don't have the Doctor's hero complex).
crisis_control: (DW - And the streets are bare)
... Is it September already? Which means the last time I felt normal was five months ago? Time does fly, even when you're not having fun...

I might have mentioned that I have this idea for the epic 11th Doctor fic of doom. Thing is, even before the 11th Doctor fic of doom was a gleam in my eye, there was a very rough prototype for the 10th Doctor's fic of doom, that I really wasn't happy with and which really never took off. I've come up with a bunch of random fic ideas which are all tying together pretty spectacularly for that. It's like the fix-it fic of doom. Starring Ten, Ten 2, Martha, Donna, and Rose.

- The very long conversation between Ten and Martha that they really needed to have and really should have had, and which I am doing solely because I need to do a fix-it or I will go on disliking Martha forever.

- The fix-it for Donna, naturally.

- My rather secret OTP of Ten2 and Donna, because I just re-watched Journey's End, and have you seen the way Ten2 smiles at Donna? It's like she lights up his life entirely. (Ten2 is adorable, and so very different from dark!moody!Ten at that point that it's mind-boggling).

- The fix-it between Ten and Ten 2.

- The fix-it for Ten, goddamnit. Because that's what the fic was always supposed to be.

- The fix-it for Waters of Mars, because I love the concept but the execution absolutely did not cut it for me - and I totally want to write the Time Lord Victorious angle.

This being me, it naturally means that I'm going to break all the players before they get their fix-it. And possibly the rest of the universe as well. Should be tons of fun.
crisis_control: ... It feels like it will never end. Cardio. (Default)
Dress Sense - ...I wrote this at the start of the year and forgot to post it. Go me. It's short, it's not very well polished, but it's quirky?

Man, I panned Armageddon's Children so hard when I wrote it, but reading it again, I'm blinking at myself. The writing is way up there with some of my best works - sure, the pacing is off and it's a one shot, but now I really like it. I'm a bit harsh on myself, aren't I...

I have no idea what I'm doing with A Season Out of Time. I have a plot twist at the end of the last chapter written and no clue what I was doing in January. Welp.
crisis_control: ... It feels like it will never end. Cardio. (Default)
*pinches bridge of nose* I'm so tired of being a special snowflake. Being a special snowflake gets you shot at. Being a special snowflake gives me social anxiety. Being a special snowflake on not one but two counts is really two counts more than I ever asked for...

Whatever do you do when you can't deal any longer with living a lie to appease society and fighting the uphill battle by being your non-conformist self in a straight-laced society is just so. much. work? Besides jump off a building.

I'm just screwed on so many counts it isn't even funny.
crisis_control: Goes the clock (DW - 11 - Tick tock)
Wow, it's been a while since I dropped in.

I can't quite believe it's almost April. The last three months of last year took forever, where did the first three of this year go?

RL stuff:
Somewhere in the interim I ran off to Kangaroo Land and came back, my horse's recovery is going spectacularly and the trust between us is unbelievable (I swear this is like, the biggest, sappiest love story there is, with all those elements of fighting the good fight unless you're convinced that everything is utterly lost, ... then a miracle happens at the last possible minute. And everything after that is so utterly amazing that it complete surpasses your wildest dreams.)

...I finished a level in Candy Crush that I'd been stuck on for ... probably half a year. Hooray? (I should probably say "Left alone" rather than "Stuck" - because I honestly(!) seriously(!) wasn't going to touch the app again - until a friend asked me to send her a ticket. This is why social networking is evil. Thing about Candy Crush - I have seen the future (level 400 plus) and it is terrifying. *bites fingernails*)

Life is complicated, but continues to be good. Heck, my recovery is probably going spectacularly. (Sometimes I wonder - am I destined to constantly get into stupidly complicated situations because I'd get bored if my life was too easy? My biggest fear when I was young was being mediocre and mundane; now I realise I've taken the Road Less Taken a bit too well, and it feels like a dose of normality would be nice. Be careful what you ask for?)

...I also turned thirty, at some point. On the bright side, I don't think I qualify as a mature and responsible adult yet. (Close thing, though. For a brief moment there I actually felt the urge to do stuff like get a mortgage. *shudder*)

Writing projects )
crisis_control: (DW - 11 - Shadows will fall)
Oh good lord.

I started RPing the Eleventh Doctor, then the sneaky bugger ran off with my heart (cackling all the way). Cue slippery slope. I started looking for Eleven pics, progressed to reading Eleven fic, and now my brain wants me to write Eleven fic. My love for the Doctors is all over the map and completely wibbly wobbly, and I suppose it would be completely apt if my first fic for this fandom turns out to be for my first Doctor and not the one I expected it to be for.

All this timey-wimey. Seriously!

It's incredibly difficult to keep the Tenth and the Eleventh separate in my head, especially since I now RP both of them. It actually gets to the point where my mental image of them gets superimposed at the oddest of times (like seeing Ten, when I'm recalling a scene from one of Eleven's episodes, or vice versa). For a person who never had problems swapping between a massive multitude of characters before, I now have to forcibly engage different sub-routines when I swap between Doctors, and load up entire protocols in my head of "This is a Ten behaviour, that is an Eleven behaviour, and for God's sake make sure you keep subvocalising their voices, because otherwise their speech patterns are going to bleed into each other's..." Clearly, my brain has no problems with seeing them as the same Doctor (always).

(I haven't forgotten the fact that I'm supposed to finish my Vorkosigan stuff first. Where is my sense of responsibility when I need it?)
crisis_control: (DW - This song is ending)
...In hindsight, going through the Matt Smith tag after the Christmas episode is not a good idea. I do love the Eleventh. A lot. And now I'm missing him something fierce.

Writing log:
A Season Out of Time now has a very quick and dirty Chapter 9, which has just taken a totally unexpected turn into a hideous angst fest. (It was already an angst fest. Now it's a monster.)
crisis_control: (DW - 10 - All of time and space)
Still coughing up a lung, though thankfully it's turned into a dry cough, and my ribs don't hurt quite as much any more. It's a bit ridiculous when I go riding, because my throat can barely take any form of heavy breathing, and I sound like I'm dying when I'm hunched over hacking like the world's going to end. For my own sanity, and because age is catching up with me and I'm starting to realise that you don't actually have to subject yourself to incredible amounts of pain and suffering in the name of self-improvement, I've opted to stop riding the laziest beast in the stables (and torturing my pronounced lack of stamina, which has only become even more pronounced after falling sick) and to stick to riding the most explosive one (who just tortures my lack of riding ability).

And on the fic front! Something a bit different from all the angst and political intrigue I've been writing recently - Unrequited Vor Pining is a random scribble fic (I love those) that emerged from a general want to write Simon fluff. The title's a play on the phrase 'unrequited prole pining' (from Memory). Probably terribly OOC, more than slightly cracky.

The fluff itch isn't entirely scratched, it seems. I think after I'm done beating him up in A Season out of Time I might need to write copious amounts of Simon/Alys fluff.

Oh, and the comment about my ribs not hurting so much any more might have been a little premature.

A bit of rambling about Simon's canon characterisation )
crisis_control: (DW - Some days everyone lives)
What can I say? I was bored and I'd temporarily exhausted my productivity on A Season Out of Time.

White Knights Chapter 5 is a little bit of an interlude, and I think it's pretty obvious where the next chapter's heading. And if you're watching the timelines carefully [1], you might note that this takes place before Miles' death, so no cryofrozen Miles, no seizures, no falsified report, yay!

[1] I wish I had an eidetic memory chip to keep track. My outline is literally written like a timeline, with Ivan's age instead of year dates. And every one of my draft chapters has the kids' ages written on top to help me keep track. And I still get it wrong!

I'd also forgotten how very tragic the entire story is for Simon, until I popped briefly into his head for a scene. Can you say crushing despair? I'm going to need to write him a happy coda.

A bit of history - White Knights was the third thing I wrote for the fandom, so this update is only 5000 years overdue. (I feel like I've written hundreds of fics for this fandom, so why do I only have 13 or so up on AO3?) The second thing I wrote for the fandom is also incomplete, and I'm getting a nagging sense of wanting to go back and re-visit it. First things first - final chapter for Knights, and at least 3 more chapters for Season. Discipline, I need it.

[ETA: Oh, it's the fourth thing, not the third, because there was a fic I forgot about. *horrified look* It's like forgetting about a child. I'm going to have to move the old stuff posted on LJ over to AO3.]

Clearly being stuck at home while sick has been good for my productivity. I have another standalone fic written and ready to go, and I got two chapters on Season done, giving me a relatively comfortable three chapter buffer between what's been posted and what I have (but not quite, because Chapter 7 was written while on drugs, and needs quite a bit of work).
crisis_control: (DW - And the streets are bare)
God, I hate sleeping. Have I mentioned how much I hate sleeping? I always get nightmares when I sleep too much (defined, apparently, as anything above 7 hours a night), and considering that I've been unconscious for so much of this week, it's probably no surprise at all that I woke up screaming last night. (Just one time out of six. Or eight. It's alright, really).

I was trying out a tactic to see if it would stop someone from killing me painfully. Don't judge.

Anyway, new fic babble time!

Armageddon's Children is brought to you by... procrastination. I'm trying to update A Season Out of Time and White Knights, which means that I'm not getting either written.

I really don't know where this popped out of and it probably shows in the narrative (it's really not very good). The scene - which would do as a great summary too - is basically of Gregor telling Simon that he wants to create a new batch of super chip-enhanced soldiers, and the screaming match that ensues. (There wasn't much screaming, in the end. Simon just... doesn't yell at Gregor, apparently.)

My better fics start with a theme, not just an idea, usually with a bit of a moral dilemma thrown in and some kind of character development. AC is just a scene, really. Never grew beyond a scene, and my heart really wasn't into giving it a happy ending, so it's all bittersweet (and edging more to the bitter). I didn't even want to give it pretty writing (but that's apt, because it's not a pretty fic). (There was a draft that started with the usual pre-reqs of pretty fic - present tense narrative, sweeping, abstract writing, like one of those paintings in pastel that are all outlines and suggestion ... ditched it one paragraph in.)

It's actually one of those going-nowhere-fast fics which I would ordinarily note down in outline form and allow to languish and die, but oh, I haven't posted anything in so long.

Also, my appetite is gone again :|. If anyone has seen it wandering around, please direct it home.

ETA: Oh yeah! A Season Out of Time is updated too.
crisis_control: Could be like every other day (DW - 10 - I wish today)
2013 - setting brand new records for being crazy, horrendously sick. Four times.

Even when I had tonsilitis earlier this year, the fever broke faster and didn't go as high... (peaked at 39.5 last night, geez. And it's still going, but fortunately it's low grade now...)

My dog has been a little freaked out at my flopping around like a dying fish.

ETA: The fever's finally gone. Unfortunately it took my tastebuds with it.
crisis_control: ... It feels like it will never end. Cardio. (Default)
Oh, come on. Just because I didn't have concrete plans for today didn't mean I wanted a boiling 39.1C fever.

Fourth time I've been sick while on leave this year, geez!
crisis_control: ... It feels like it will never end. Cardio. (Default)
A Season Out of Time should be renamed The Fic in Which Simon Gets Randomly Roughed Up.

Because this is the second time in the fic where sudden, unplanned, plot development has led to him getting whumped.

*re-reads outline* Oh, and that's not even counting the planned whumpage... oh dear.
crisis_control: Because they never melt (Gen - Glass snowflake)
Merry Christmas, folks!

I spent the first three hours of it farming for crafting materials with a vengeance in GW2 - after being outraged that I couldn't find much in the way of gold ore in the first few maps I tried, I went on a rampage through about three four other maps zealously mining all the platinum... Yes, I'm perfectly normal, whatever are you talking about?

Sleep, church, more sleep, and then writing, woo.

I put up Chapter 4 of A Season out of Time (aka the Vorkosigan AU where Cordelia is the most important person in the universe and doesn't return to Barrayar, oops). Chapter 3 was a really bad place to stop, honestly. I could have at least gotten off my arse and posted chapters 4 and 5, which would at least have brought us to end of Part I and given everyone a bit of closure, but no, I failboated, as usual.

Oh, but all the swearing. (In my other WIPs, not this one - Illyan is a terribly polite muse). Clearly becoming a Whovian has cleaned up my language. And changed my perspective on some things, like - like Escobar. (Oh hey, Doctor Who / Vorkosigan cross-over and blowing up Gallifrey, anyone?)
crisis_control: ... It feels like it will never end. Cardio. (DW - 10 - When you run with the Doctor)
This is quite possibly the best Who AMV that I've seen this year.

"Is 'alright' some sort of Time Lord code for 'really not alright at all'"?

Yes, yes, it is.

I was reading a fic today where the words 'mind blind' popped up. I twitched. That's my phrase. Mine! I coined it! Probably. And then I find out that there's an entire wiki article on it. Bah, humbug.

Oh man. I failed on the Christmas cards again this year. Damn depression, getting in the way of doing anything productive.
crisis_control: ... It feels like it will never end. Cardio. (Default)
I keep wanting to write intelligent, insightful and intriguing things here.

Then, fandom happens. And I explode into gleeful little bits.

Every time I think that maybe I'm a little bit over my Tenth Doctor obsession (you know, the stage where your relationship settles down into something more steady and long term, and you start realising that other people exist in the universe?) and then I go back and watch one of the old episodes, and I realise nope, nope nopenoepnoepnepnpoe. Ten just rips my little heart into shreds all the time in a way no other Doctor manages to do.

Life's bottomed out. Had a bit of a bad patch between the last update and this one, because I was waiting on news that had the potential to be outstandingly good and just plain bad, and it ended up being dragged out for a week longer than it had to be before it was announced. Of course, nothing to write home about, but I think I've finally, finally hit the bottom, which means that I'm finally bouncing back up. It's curiously liberating - when everything in your life goes wrong, you realise that you can now do anything you want. I'm no longer obligated to anyone or anything, I really could just retire my horse and then quit my job, and raze everything to the ground and walk. Sure, some loose ends here and there, but it's so much easier when you don't care any more.

Ramble about the Escape Artist Part 3 (Spoilers ahoy) )
crisis_control: (DW - Some days everyone lives)
Oh my God. The 50th is amazing. It's all amazing and classic and epic and new and so poetically quoteworthy that I don't even care that there are plotholes that you can drive a truck through - heck, drive the inside of the TARDIS through.

I'm also assured that it's perfectly normal for your heart to lurch at the sight of 'David Tennant' in the opening credits.
crisis_control: ... It feels like it will never end. Cardio. (Default)
Watching The Escape Artist again, just cos.

I was joking with a fellow lawyer today that it requires a certain amount of suspension of disbelief. Like when they suggest that working late is a remarkable enough to comment on. Or like when they suggest that sleeping overnight in the office is something unusual. *g*

Another fun thing that I picked up - I sort of doubt that any one who has to record time ever loses track of it. Not badly, anyway. At the very minimum, I should think that all billing timekeepers can probably tell you the time to the closest fifteen minute block without looking at a clock (also, there is never not a clock in some highly visible place in a lawyer's office, even if most of us use the digital one on the phone).

(But then again, I never know how much of it is me - my time sense is so absurdly overdeveloped that I can wake up in the middle of the night and tell you what time it is, at least to the hour.)
crisis_control: Could be like every other day (DW - 10 - I wish today)
On this thing to talk about The Escape Artist, aka the BBC's new original drama, aka the new thing that David Tennant is in (that doesn't involve hair extensions), aka THE THING THAT ATE MY SOUL.

I watched it because it has Tennant, it has lawyers, and it has courtroom drama, and I was so going to sit there with a cup of tea and laugh my head off at how they got it all wrong.

Instead, as usual, the show stabs me through the heart, rips it out, stomps on it, and, of all things, makes me fall in love with the legal profession all over again, like we weren't two hair-widths away from getting divorced in a big way this year.

I really should know better than to think that I can watch shows with Tennant in them with impunity. I thought Seasons 2 - 4 of Doctor Who would be a frolic. I thought Casanova would be mindless fun. You would think I'd know better by now.

Cut for spoilers spoilers spoilers )
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